Fall to Grace
by myownsaviour
Summary: When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Sam sees himself as a disgusting mass of fat. He has to get rid of it. He needs to. Warning: anorexia and eating disorders.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So finally, here I am at the start of 'Fall To Grace'. I've been planning out this story for a while, focusing on some of the issues that were left out of 'If I Don't Get Up', and it seems almost surreal to finally be here sitting down to write it – never before have I been through so many redrafts of how I want to say things than I have with this story, so fingers crossed you'll like it. Originally I was going to use Santana and Brittany for this, but then the story shifted to Sam and Blaine before I finally settled on returning to Sam and Rory as the focal couple. I think that their characters work well together, but also embody feelings that were around at this time of life. I hope you like this piece, and as always, reviews are appreciated massively! Of course, I still don't own Glee.**

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Sam stood in front of the mirror, his shirt pulled up and his hands wandering around his skin. When did he get so fat? He pulled at the skin around the bottom of his abs, and pinched. He was so ugly. Why would anyone want to date him? Quinn must be blind to want to go out with someone so fat and disgusting. He turned around and looked over his shoulder at his back. It felt like fat was hanging off him all over the place. This was horrible. Disgusting. That's the word he uses to describe himself. He has heard people say that he is the best looking guy in Glee, but he knows that bullshit, because he can see his body more than others can, and even if he is the only one who notices, he knows that he's an ugly, disgusting thing. He pulls his shirt down. He doesn't want to look at himself anymore. It just makes him feel sick to see all that fat. Quinn deserves someone better than him. It's just, he loves her so much, and he can't bear to leave her. He would be seeing her tomorrow. It was something he was looking forward to – it had been a week since they had seen each other thanks to work for school and sports practices and family commitments. That night, he fell asleep thinking of her. She made him whole. What would he do without her?

* * *

"Hey Ror! You seen Quinn around?" Sam searched the crowd for his girlfriend, but there was no sign. Rory shrugged. He hadn't seen her yet, but he had first period with her, so he would tell her then that Sam had been looking for her. The pair wandered towards their lockers through the crowd, catching up on what the other had been doing during the holiday. Turned out Rory had been away with the Pierces, which was why he hadn't been able to call or text – poor signal. Sam filled him in on the events of his manic break while they were packing their book bags. They were both peacefully happy in each other's company. It had always been this way between the pair, and the other gleeks found it hysterical, often making jokes about the flourishing 'bromance' going on. For the boys, it was just another part of their day, ignoring the comments, or swatting away the jibes from the jocks and judgemental student body. To think, Sam even had a girlfriend, but still he was subjected to the ridicule. Yeah it sometimes pissed him off, but him and Rory were good friends, so it wasn't going to stop him from sticking close to the boy.

It was lunchtime when he finally found Quinn, who was walking into the canteen, showing no effort to search for Sam. It was when he first saw her look at him that he realised something was wrong. She seemed… Well, timid, like there was something about him she was scared of. It confused him. What had happened? Normally she was so happy to see him. He walked up to her, and gave her a hug. She wriggled out of his embrace, and looked him in the eye. "Sam, we need to talk". Fuck. He had heard those words before. Worse, he had said similar things to people, and he knew the pain that normally followed. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him into a corridor just outside the food hall. She looked into his eyes for a second before seemingly making her mind up in front of him. "We can't do this anymore Sam. We aren't working out. You can see that right?" Sam thought back over the relationship. To him, everything seemed perfect. What had he done wrong? Fuck. It was because he was so disgusting. He knew it. He just didn't want to believe it. He had always thought that maybe this would happen – who would want him anyway? He remembered what he had thought the night before. Quinn deserved someone better. He nodded, and she smiled. "No hard feelings right Sam?" He shook his head, indicating no. She pulled his arm to walk into the canteen, but he tugged away, and walked off in the other direction. He needed time to think about this. There was no way he could face the glee club right now. He knew what he wanted to say, but could he really do it? Quinn would understand right? Only one way to find out.

_Even if you were a million miles away_

_I could still feel you in my bed_

_Near me, touch me, feel me_

_And even at the bottom of the sea_

_I could still hear inside my head_

_Tellin' me, touch me, feel me_

Sam was so nervous singing this song in front of the club. Very few of his performances in the past had actually had much of how he felt put into them, with many just chances for a song, but now he was trying to bear himself to them. He wanted Quinn to understand that this song wasn't angry to him, but he saw it as more regretful, as a way of saying that he wished things had worked out, but he could live knowing that they hadn't.

_And all the time you were tellin' me lies_

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?_

_Well, you could try sleeping in my bed._

That night, Rory had knocked on Sam's door. When the blond boy appeared behind the glass, Rory rushed in and gave him a hug to say everything was going to be alright. Sam seemed somewhat out of it, but that was to be expected considering the days events. He just hoped Sam wouldn't be down for long – he hated seeing his best friend like this.

_Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you_

_You wore the crown_

_You made my body feel heaven bound_

_Why don't you hold me_

_Need me, I thought you told me_

_You'd never leave me_

They went upstairs to Sam's room, which was where the boy fell to pieces. Rory held him while he cried. Big, heavy tears that felt like they carried the weight of the world. Rory wanted to cry as well. His friend should have a perfect life, nothing should ever get him down, but here he was crying into his shoulder. But he carried on dry - he had to be strong for Sam. Had to be a support.

_Looking in the sky I could see your face_

_And I know right where I fit in_

_Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love_

_With you_

_Right til the end Oh_

Rory knew that this was just another one of those parts of life. Those moments when it feels like the end because you have lost somebody that meant a lot to you, so he knew that he would have to be there to help Sam through this break up. He understood just how much Sam loved Quinn, so he knew just what it must feel like for him. She was everything to him, and had been for the past seven months.

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

Sam pulled himself together. He would have to move on in his life, but for now, he would have time to be sad about life. He started to think about himself, and what he needed to do. He knew why Quinn didn't want him. He was disgusting. He himself wanted to tear pieces of his skin off. He stood up and saw Rory out of the house, under the pretense of heading to sleep. Instead, he returned to the mirror.

_Anybody could've told you right from the start_

_It's bout to fall apart_

_So rather than hold onto a broken dream_

_I'll just hold on to love_

Sam took a deep breath, looking around the glee club to see what the reaction was to his song. Quinn seemed furious. She stormed up to him, fury in her eyes. "Sam, I thought we said no hard feelings!" And before he had a chance to reply, she was gone, and all he could do was watch her as she left the room.

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**So the song used in this chapter was Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart by Alicia Keys. I hope you found this chapter interesting, but I know that it is rather uneventful. I just needed to set up the events that are to unfold, so fingers crossed you liked it enough to stick around with me for a little while. Thanks for reading, and as already stated, reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: So here we are with chapter two. Sorry for the slow update but I have had a lot to deal with over the last couple of days, but hopefully things will start looking up again now. Hopefully you will like this chapter, and fingers crossed you'll see it as good enough to stick with it. The song used in this chapter is Paloma Faith's 'Picking Up The Pieces'. The first time I heard this song I knew it was perfect with this story because of how much I can relate to it. The album is called 'Fall To Grace', which is coincidentally (or not) the name of this story (as you may have already noticed)! I was just taken over by the beauty of it, and the elegance of the idea of falling into grace as opposed to falling from it. So there we go! Enjoy!**

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Rory walked past the electronics store for the fifth time today. He hadn't really planned the day, all he knew was that he needed to get Sam out of the house, and get his mind onto other things. Quinn had torn him apart, her ghost following behind wherever Sam went. Rory could always see that pained look in his eyes. The blond had even started to become distant with him, often just replying to questions with grunts or very simple sentences. Rory understood – sure, it was difficult coping with a break up like that – but at the same time, Sam didn't seem to even be trying to take any steps forward in his life. The more time was passing, the more he felt he was being treated like shit, and, being honest with himself, he wasn't down for that. He was going to be there for Sam whatever though – he just couldn't bear to see the guy sad, even if it did make him a little pissed every now and again. Surely now that a week had passed, he should be moving on a little right? Wrong. It just seemed to be getting worse. He was getting thinner as well. Rory would keep an eye on that. Finally Sam came out of the store, holding a bag with a CD in it. He looked pretty pleased with himself when he pulled it out from the bag and proudly pushed the Lady Antebellum case into Rory's face. The Irish boy chuckled at the action.

"I know they aren't really cool, but hey, I like them okay?" Sam shrugged and packed the album back away. Rory was confused. Why did Sam go on the defensive? He didn't think he was laughing at the CD did he? It was just the look on his face… Oh shit maybe he is insulted! Better make it up to him.

"I like them too. Especially that one… Urgh, what's it called? Um… Oh yeah, 'One Day You Will'. That's a great song!" It was Sam's turn to smile as he watched his friend desperately trying to claw his way back out of the hole he had dug for himself. The pair walked on through the mall, stopping in a shop every now and again, but never spending any money. Neither of them really had that much cash to spare, so no impulse buying today. Sam smiled. For the first time since the break up, he was feeling a little bit happy. Rory always had that ability with him. At least, it was great until they reached the food court. Quinn was there, just standing there, her arms around Finn's neck and her lips on his. Sam couldn't watch. It hurt too much. He freaked and turned around without telling Rory, who was taken by surprise at the sudden change of events. His eyes wandered to where Sam's had just been, and comprehension filled him. He chased after his friend who was already on the escalator on his way up to the first floor. He needed to catch up quickly.

When he did. Sam's eyes were red. Rory cupped his face and wiped away one of the tears that was rolling its way down Sam's cheek. He really did not deserve this, even if he was treating Rory poorly at the moment. Heck, Rory could understand why. Turning his attention back to the task at hand, Rory smiled at his friend and tried to lead him off to the other direction, but his efforts were stopped when Sam didn't budge. Rory frowned and tried again, but his friend wouldn't budge. Sam looked him in the eyes and shook his head, indicating he wasn't going that way. Rory shrugged and attempted the other direction, but still nothing.

"Come on Sam, we can't just stand here forever. We need to get going". Sam looked at him again and shrugged.

"Go away Rory, I don't want to be with you now". Rory stood shocked, watching as Sam broke out of his grasp and turned away to disappear into the crowd. What had happened? What had he done wrong? This just didn't make sense. Yeah, seeing Quinn must have upset him, but did he really need to take it out on the only person there for him at the time? Rory tried to understand, but he just couldn't. It didn't make sense. What had he done wrong? He walked through the centre, not really knowing where he was going, lost in his thoughts. Until he walked into the back of someone.

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Rory looked up to find Santana staring at him. She seemed pretty angry at first, but then, as she studied the small boy before him, she seemed to notice that something was going wrong, and despite the past between them, gave Rory a sympathetic look.

"What's going on potato-head? You look pretty down". Rory blinked. It wasn't like Santana to care, but he had heard rumours that she could have moments of being nice, you know, like a normal human being. He shrugged his shoulders, not really knowing what to say. "Okay, so something's obviously up, and although I'm still mad about what you did to Britt, I'm willing to overlook it for the moment and try and help you with that mashed up brain of yours. Seriously, what's going on?" Okay, now he really couldn't believe it. Not only was she actually giving a shit, but she was also suggesting that she wanted to help him out. Strange. He gulped. He didn't want to make Sam sound bad, but hey, what did it matter? The jock hated him anyway. So he spilled, telling Santana everything, and although he caught her looking at her nails every now and again, she did genuinely seem interested in what he had to say. As he finished, he looked up to her, hoping for some sort of response. "So Irish, you done your glee assignment yet?" Now he was really confused. What was the relevance of that? "Well, I think maybe you should use the opportunity to tell Sam how you feel". That was actually a pretty good idea. Before he knew it, he had arranged to meet her at her house in two hours so they could run over ideas. It was surreal to see Santana caring. As he walked away, he had to pinch himself just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. Insane.

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The next day at glee club, Rory was nervous as hell. The night before, Santana had spent ages trudging through her iTunes to find him the perfect song. As soon as he heard it though, he knew it had to be the one. She had looked at him briefly, before calmly asking Rory a question he hadn't expected to hear. "Irish, do you have feeling for Sam? Like you know, romantic feelings?" Rory had stood there in shock. He wasn't really sure what to say. Santana had a knowing grin on her face, and as he thought about it more, the more he realised that yeah, he did. It wasn't long that an evening planned for music had turned into a massive chat about life, love and everything in between. He still hadn't really gotten over the fact that he and Santana had bonded. He wasn't really sure what the others would think, especially after her earlier treatment of him, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to be friends. As everyone settled into the room, he took a deep breath and stood up for his performance. The song was perfect, it really was.

_Do you think of her?_

_When you're with me?_

_Repeat the memories you made together?_

_Whose face do you see?_

_Do you wish I was a bit more like her?_

_Am I too loud?_

_I play the clown,_

_To cover up all these doubts._

That night, while Rory had been at Santana's, Sam had returned home, and, more importantly, to the mirror. He stared at it for a while, pointing out each of his flaws to himself. Places where he needed to lose weight, places where he was too fat. Everywhere. He couldn't stand it. It was disgusting, all bulging out. When his mother had called him down for dinner, he told her he had been to the food court with Rory. He wasn't lying, and this way he wouldn't need to eat.

_Perfect heart,_

_She's flawless,_

_She's the other woman,_

_Shining in her splendour,_

_You were lost._

It had been a pretty cold night, but Sam found it perfect for exercising. He wouldn't get overheated while he burned off that excess fat that was eating him up. Today he had eaten three crackers, an apple and a glass of water. He was pleased with himself. Those calories could be burned off easily, and there was hardly any fat in them. He cringed at the mere thought of putting more weight on.

_Now she's gone,_

_And I'm picking up the pieces,_

_I watch you cry,_

_But you don't see that I'm the one by your side._

'_Cause she's gone,_

_In her shadow is it me you see?_

'_Cause all that's left is you and I,_

_And I'm picking up the pieces she left behind._

Rory had realised that although the song was perfect, it would also give some pretty strong suggestions that he wanted Sam to be a bit more than his friend. He had worried about how many of the glee clubbers would pick up on it. It was no surprise when he had seen Kurt smile knowingly before Blaine joined in. He started to falter as he realised that slowly the group was figuring it out, but was put back on track when Santana gave him a sly thumbs up. Sam seemed enraptured.

_I found a photograph behind the TV,_

_You look so happy are you missing the way it used to be?_

_Now I have changed this room around more often lately,_

_It's clear that me,_

_And these 4 walls,_

_Still known as hers and yours._

Seeing Rory like this, it was different. Could he really be saying that he had feelings for him? No surely not. Even Quinn didn't feel that way. What would he do if Rory did like him though? Would he give it a shot? Sam thought over it. He could see him and Rory together, heck, he would like it if they were together, but first he would have to make sure he was better. Make sure he was less disgusting. Make sure that Rory definitely felt the same way.

_Now she's gone,_

_And I'm picking up the pieces,_

_I watch you cry,_

_But you don't see that I'm the one by your side._

'_Cause she's gone,_

_In her shadow is it me you see?_

'_Cause all that's left is you and I,_

_And I'm picking up the pieces she left behind._

Sam's thoughts turned to earlier on in the day. He had treated Rory like shit, and he didn't need to be treated like that. He was the only person there to comfort him, but Sam had lashed out. Why couldn't he just control his emotions? Rory could do better. He needed better.

_Are we liars?_

_In denial?_

_Are smoke without the fire?_

_Tell me please is this worth it?_

_I deserve it._

Rory stopped singing, and looked around the room. Santana and Rachel were the first to start clapping, jumping up to give him a hug before the rest of the group followed. Sam sat there watching. He needed to improve. He needed to make sure that he was what Rory deserved, and nothing less. He needed to take his diet to the next level to make sure he was perfect. No more fat.

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**So yeah, I think you can probably see where this is going now right? Well please review to let me know what you think, and hopefully I will see you next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I just wanted to say a quick thank you for the support I have received with this story, especially two jibassmaster and TVtime for their lovely reviews. I wanted to try something a little different in terms of style with this chapter. I believe that it works nicely as a little break from the style of the other chapters in the story. Maybe it could come across as refreshing, or maybe you'll really not like it. Anyway, I know the style definitely isn't new to the site, hell I have read hundreds of stories in this style, but I have never tried it for myself so there! Basically, I wanted to see how it was to try roping the song in throughout the chapter rather than just in one section. Fingers crossed you'll like it!**

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_I don't want to talk about it to you,_

_I'm not an open book that you can rifle through,_

_The cold hard truth that you'll see right to,_

_I'm just basket case without you._

Sam yawned. He was so tired. It had been a week since Rory had sung in glee club, which meant a week since he had stepped up his diet. He had been living off of rice crackers for the week, having three a day, and filling himself up on water. Each cracker had sixteen calories, and forty-eight calories a day seemed reasonable to him. He was happy with the results. He could see in himself that he was a lot thinner, but there were still those areas of fat that he needed to get rid of. It still pained him to look in the mirror, but in a way, that was good, because it showed him that he needed to continue with his diet. He yawned again. Once this class was over, he was free and could head over to the gym. He was looking forward to lifting some weights – it would all help him in his goal to shed the pounds. This lesson was boring. He wished Rory were here. He would make him laugh and cheer him up. They would have a good time together. Sam had to admit – the more he thought about the boy, the more he liked him. Then the more he liked him; the more he wanted to be with him. But there was always the question about whether he had misunderstood Rory's song. The Irish boy had said he was going to accompany Sam to the gym today so that he wasn't lonely. That was the great thing about his friend. He was always so eager to be there for Sam, so eager to help as best he could. Which is why he deserved better. When the lesson ended, Sam dashed out as quickly as possible, and made his way to the gym where he would meet his friend.

_He's not a magic man or a perfect fit_

_But had a steady hand and I got used to it_

_And a glass cage heart and invited me in_

_And now I'm just a basket case without him_

Rory was there already. He smiled when he saw Sam come in. They quickly changed, catching up on the other's day. Turned out both had been bored during last period, which wasn't much of a surprise – Sam had English, while Rory had mathematics. Neither boy was a big fan of the subjects, so they could empathize with the other. Rory headed over to the rowing machine, while Sam went for the treadmill. He always warmed up here before he lifted some weights. Ten minutes of silent exercise followed, before Sam decided he needed a sit down. It was unusual. Normally he could manage the whole period in just one big go, but today he felt funny. His head swam as he sat on the bench. Rory looked over, realizing something was wrong. He perched next to his Sam, and looked him over.

"Sam, are you feeling ok? You look a bit sick". Sam nodded smiling. He was just a bit tired. Nothing to worry about. He stood up to get back on the treadmill, but fell back down. Rory caught him just in time. "Maybe we should go get the nurse Sam. You aren't very well. I can see that much." Sam shook him off again, deciding that the last time, he had just been unlucky. He walked a little distance before his legs shook, and he felt himself hit the ground. He blacked out, and he could hear Rory hurrying towards him, asking if he was okay. He could hear the shouts for the nurse, then Rory asking someone to fetch her for him, telling them he couldn't leave the unconscious Sam on the floor alone. The next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes slowly, greeted by several people standing around his bed.

_You're begging for the truth_

_So I'm saying it to you_

_I've been saving your place_

_And what good does it do?_

_Now I'm just a basket case_

_Now I'm just a basket case_

"Rory, he's awake!" That was the first thing that Sam heard. It sounded like his dad, but why was his dad here at school? Sam looked over to see Rory spin around to look at his friend. He had been reading over his math homework while waiting for the blonde to wake up, but now his attention was solely focused on his friend's well-being. Sam sat up, rubbing his head, while Rory filled him in on events. The nurse quickly intervened near the end of the story, claiming she had a couple of questions to ask Sam. She looked the boy in the eyes. Too many times had she dealt with issues like this, and each case tore her apart inside.

"Sam, after you fainted, we brought you here, where I took your blood sugar levels. They're low. Not just low, but very low. I need to know what you have eaten in the last two days". Sam licked his lip. What did he do? Did he pretend that he had been eating lots? He knew that if he told them what he had eaten, they would claim he had an eating disorder, which he definitely did not have. He needed to lose that weight, which was why he had been pretending to eat before his parents came home from work. At least they couldn't deny he had been eating. All they could say was that they weren't sure. He looked at the nurse.

"I've had some chicken, some potatoes. That was last night's meal. This morning I had toast, and then for lunch I had some of the fish". The nurse looked uneasy. She wasn't sure whether to believe him. Everything in her screamed that he was lying, but there was a small part of her that wanted to believe what he said, that was telling her that there were other possibilities for why he might have a low blood sugar level. He might have been overexerting himself in the gym. Too much exercise maybe. The more she saw the confident gleam of the boy's eyes, the more she was inclined to believe him. His parents weren't convinced, but they gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had never had any issues with talking over his problems with them in the past, why would he avoid discussing something like an eating disorder? There was only one set of eyes left in the room to convince, and when Sam looked into them, he knew that Rory didn't believe him. He knew that Rory knew. He just hoped that the boy would stay quiet for now. Luckily, he did.

_I don't say much and it'll stay that way,_

_You got a steel train touch and I'm just a track you lay,_

_So I'll stay right here underneath you,_

_I'm just a basket case and that's what we do._

There were three knocks on his bedroom door. Sam looked up from his English book, and proceeded to open the door. Rory stood there, glowering at his friend. Sam backed away, letting him in. Rory sat down on the bed.

"Sam, we need to talk. You lied to the nurse today, and I know because you were with me at lunch, and you didn't eat anything. I didn't think of it at the time, but when you said that, I thought back and realized. What's more, the longer I though, the more I realized that I haven't actually seen you eat all week. Not at lunch time anyway. I need you to talk to me Sam. I need to understand what's going on. Why did you lie to the nurse? Why aren't you eating?" Sam gulped. He had expected this, but he wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't planned to talk about it this soon anyway. Did he open up and tell Rory? What should he do? He didn't know what was the right thing to do. "Sam, I know you might not want to talk about it, but we need to, because you might have a problem, and if you do, I just wouldn't be able to cope with knowing that I had stood by and let it happen. We can sort it out together. I love you Sam, and I just can't bear to see anything happen to you." Sam was stunned. There it was. Confirmation that Rory had feelings for him. That was what he wanted to hear.

_You're begging for the truth_

_So I'm saying it to you_

_I've been saving your place_

_And what good does it do?_

_Now I'm just a basket case_

A tear fell from Sam's eye. He needed to tell Rory. He opened up, recounting how he had felt about himself, what he had been doing. The more Rory heard, the more he felt ashamed. He should have noticed earlier. He should have been able to help. Sam meant everything to him, but he couldn't notice when something was wrong? What kind of friend was he? Sam seated himself next to him on the bed, staring forward into space. He started humming a song to himself before looking over at Rory, and starting to sing the lyrics through his tears. The Irish boy listened closely, hanging off every word that the blond sang.

_Won't somebody come on in and tug at my seams?_

_Oh, send your armies in of robbers and thieves,_

_To steal the state I'm in I don't want it anymore._

When the song finished, Rory leaned into Sam, and placed his lips on the older boy's. Emotion surged through them, and as they broke it off for air, Rory looked into Sam's eyes. "We're going to get through this Sam, I promise. You're perfect, you don't need to change. You can't fix perfection". He leaned back into Sam, who now had one lone tear running down his cheek. Rory wiped it off with his thumb before placing his mouth back onto Sam's.

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**Only a little more left to go now. I hope you liked this chapter, and will continue to read on. Please review if you like what you have read (or if you didn't)! The song used in this chapter was "Basket Case" by Sara Bareilles.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I just wanted to say thank you to all those of you who have supported this story. The original planned cycle of 'Fall To Grace' ends here in this chapter, so I'm taking a break from it for now to focus on other projects. Maybe if I have more ideas for where to take this story I will return to it, but for now, Fall to Grace is complete, with the story that I planned ending here. So once again, thank you everyone for the support and to those who sent me PMs I want to say a big thank you! Fingers crossed you are content with this chapter and the way the story ends. I've got a couple of things planned at the moment. 'Kaleidoscope' will be a new long piece (currently planned at around 17 chapters, so by far my longest piece), while Obsessions is a oneshot left over from the period between If I Don't Get Up and this. Hopefully I will get that up soon, but for now, here's the final chapter of Fall to Grace! Thank you once again!**

* * *

"Rory, I need you to understand. People in this town can be so cruel. I don't want them to hurt you. Not for loving me. If I could sell my soul for your happiness I would". Sam looked into his boyfriend's eyes. He was searching for understanding, for confirmation that Rory felt the same, for anything. What he didn't expect to see was Rory lean in and kiss him again. "Rory stop. Don't you understand? Being with me, it will hurt you. I couldn't bear for that to happen. And why would you want me anyway? I'm disgusting". Rory's eyes widened to Sam's words. Had he really just said that? Had he just said he was disgusting?

"Sam, I understand. It's you that doesn't seem to get it. I wouldn't ever let you sell your soul for my happiness, because your soul is what creates my happiness. However much anybody hurts me, I don't care, because the feelings that you create in me are so much… more. They just are more. And don't let me ever hear you say you are disgusting again. Like I said, you're perfect. Believe me, please?" Sam shrugged at Rory's words, before nodding his head. The Irish boy could see that his partner hadn't really stopped thinking that he was trouble for Rory though. The problem was that he didn't know how to prove to Sam that he was so worth it. He reached his arm around Sam, and pulled him in close, nuzzling into his blond hair with his nose. He hated seeing Sam like this, but what could he do? It was like those films, where the hero can see what's wrong, but he just doesn't know how to change it. He felt like living dead. He couldn't help his boyfriend, so what was the point? No, that was defeatist thinking. He couldn't think like Sam was, he had to be the strong one. That's when the idea hit him. If Rory couldn't convince Sam that he was amazing, he would just have to get more people to show him how brilliant he is. He knew exactly where to find them. "Oh, Sam, I know it's early, but I want to make us open with the glee club. We can tell them about us right? They're our friends, I really want to share this with them". Sam smiled and nodded. If Rory was happy to share, he was too. He had seen the members and how they treated homosexuality as no biggy. They would be fine with it.

* * *

Rory looked around the circle of his friends. He had called a secret meeting of the glee club, and had invited everyone apart from Sam. The group looked a little confused as to why they were here, but with some support from Santana, he had managed to get them to gather into this orderly circle. "Guys, I want to talk to you all about something really important. It's about Sam". The confused faces became even more questioning, and they prompted Rory to continue. "Well, we are now officially a couple. I'm pretty sure that most of you had already figured out that I had feelings for him when I sang in glee the other day, but anyway, that's not important. What is however, is his self-image. I don't know how many of you have realised this, but Sam fainted in school the other day. This was due to low blood sugar levels, caused by him not eating in an attempt to get more in shape". There were clearly audible gasps from some of the group, and everyone was clearly concerned for Sam's well-being. "I believe that it's due to his self-loathing that he has these feelings. He says he is disgusting, and I just can't leave him thinking like that, which is why I want us to do something to tell him how much he means to us, and how we are always going to be behind him. He means so much to me, I will not let him think like that". Everyone was horrified by the news they had received, but also quietly in awe of Rory's speech. The passion, the kindness, the love. It was all there, and it made for an impressive leadership figure. Rory grabbed some sheets of paper from his bag and handed them around the group. "I did this last night. I know we are all familiar with the idea of a mash-up, and so I stayed up writing this to perform to him. I hope you will all get behind me". Slowly but surely all members of the glee club nodded in agreement, signing themselves up to help Rory out in his attempt to cheer Sam up.

* * *

Sam wandered into the choir room to find he was the first here. He hadn't seen any of the other members all day, which was a surprise. Normally they would hang out with him at lunch or something like that, but today they were just no shows. Maybe they had finally learned that he was the disgusting creature he had always known he was. Rachel came into the room and sat down next to Sam, with Santana going to his other side. They gave each other a smile, and Sam wondered what was going on. Neither of the pair ever sat near him, and more, they very rarely actually made contact. That's when the music started, and the two leaned into Sam as they started to sing.

_Locomotive, keep going, keep going, keep going._

_Locomotive, keep going, keep going, keep going._

_Locomotive, keep going, keep going, keep going._

_Locomotive, don't stop rolling, don't stop rolling._

He was confused. How hadn't he known about this performance, and why were the pair singing it to an empty room? Where was the music coming from? Suddenly, the rest of the group burst into the room. Well, everyone except for Rory. Sam was worried about his boyfriend, having not seen him all day, but at the same time, incredibly distracted by the song that was taking place around him, which he had to admit was really good. The layered vocals were working with amazing effect. While Rachel and Santana carried on with their backing verse, Puck and Tina came in over the top.

_You feel like you're falling backwards,_

_Like you're slippin' through the cracks,_

_Like no one would even notice,_

_If you left this town and never came back,_

_You walk outside and all you see is rain,_

_You look inside and all you feel is pain,_

_And you can't see it now._

This was when they grabbed him by the hand and he realised for the first time that the song was aimed at him. He just wished he had realised it sooner. The lyrics were perfect. Whoever had thought of this had hit the nail on the head about how he felt. They deserved a medal. He could just imagine how perfect they were as he was led down the hall towards the auditorium with the club singing to him. The perfect person. Everything clicked into place with the addition of one more voice into the throng of noise. One with an Irish accent.

_But down the road the sun is shining,_

_In every cloud there's a silver lining,_

_Just keep holding on,_

_And every heartache makes you stronger,_

_But it won't be much longer,_

_You'll find love, you'll find peace,_

_And the you you're meant to be,_

_I know right now that's not the way you feel,_

_But one day you will._

Sam could feel the tears running down from his face. Rory had done all of this for him? Just to prove the point that he wasn't disgusting. For the first time in a long time, Sam had hope. Maybe he wasn't as disgusting as he thought he was. Maybe Rory did love him, really, really loved him. Sam couldn't think of anything as amazing as what his boyfriend was doing for him right now. Building him back up. Taking all the pieces and gluing them back together.

_Young man, don't hide,_

_You'll never change if you just run away,_

_Young man, just hold tight,_

_And soon you're gonna see your brighter day,_

_Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed,_

_It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid,_

_No one reaches out a hand for you to hold,_

_When you're lost outside look inside to your soul and,_

_Keep going, keep going, keep going._

He really did have the most amazing partner ever. Rachel ran up to Sam, taking a break from her backing vocals while Santana carried on. She grabbed him and whispered into his ear. "Rory planned this all himself. He wrote the mash-ups and everything. Works out pretty well don't you think? He must really think you're worth it. And let's face it Sam, you really are. After Quinn, Santana and Mercedes, you really deserve the best. I wish you the best of luck". And with that, she ran back to the stage, continuing to sing.

_Find the strength to rise above_

_You will find just what you're made of,_

_Just keep going, keep going, keep going._

_When there's no one else,_

_Look inside yourself,_

_Like your oldest friend,_

_Just trust the voice within,_

_Then you'll find the strength,_

_That will guide your way,_

_If you will learn to begin,_

_To trust the voice within,_

_One day you will,_

_I'll be right here when your world starts to fall._

The music cut out, and everybody stood there on stage, watching as Rory ran up to Sam, awarding him with a massive kiss on the cheek. "Sam, don't let anyone ever tell you that you are disgusting. We all love you, we all think you're amazing. Don't you dare think like that. Promise me?" Sam nodded, trying to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out. Rory smiled. "I'll take that as a yes. Now how about we get on with the rest of our lives?" He knew it wouldn't be as simple as that. Sam knew as well. But just planning a future together was such a boost to the blonde's morale, that he just couldn't help but smile. Yeah, there would be relapses and moments when his self-esteem returned to zero, but he would have Rory there for him. They could get through it together.

* * *

**So once again, thank you so much. It's really been amazing. Please review and let me know what you thought, I'd really appreciate it. It's a cheesy ending I know, but I wanted to make it happier than the finale of If I Don't Get Up. The songs I mashed up were Locomotive by Alex Winston, The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera, and One Day You Will by Lady Antebellum (you might have picked up the little hint I left about the song earlier in the story!)**


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